How to get decent family photos when your kids won't sit still

Confession: my own kids are teenagers now and will actively dodge the camera. Which is karma, probably, given how many small humans I've asked to look this way and smile. So I'm qualified to tell you that you can't make kids cooperate. You can only make it easier for them to be themselves. Here's what works.

Stop saying "smile." It makes everyone's face go weird. Ask a silly question instead and you'll get a real laugh.

Pick somewhere they can move. A paddock, the beach, the backyard, your lounge. Kids talk through play: climbing, collecting sticks, exploring. If they're busy they're happy, and I can work with happy.

Wear what they'd actually wear. Comfortable, not matching, not stiff. Layers, because it's Otago. Spare clothes for the one who finds the puddle.

Bribery is allowed. Snacks, and something to look forward to afterwards. I'm not above it.

Let the dog be the dog. Chaotic pets are family, and they're often in the best photos.

Give it ten minutes. Everyone's a bit stiff and grumpy at the start. That's normal, and it passes.

Don't apologise. Not for the mood, the mess or the meltdown. I've seen all of them, and the photos with a meltdown happening in the background are often the ones people love most years later.

Sometimes photographs aren't for the people in them right now. Sometimes they're for the future version of you who needs reminding you were doing a better job than you thought.

And print them. Please. A hard drive is a digital prison.